Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I write like I talk...

Is that a bad thing??? At least y'all know I'm for real--not a robot...a real Mom..living a real life...about to KILL her real kids..for REAL

Katherine...Mom makes us clean and NEVER participates...(participates..first of all good word..makes me proud.)

Me... after they picked me off the ceiling and made her go away for fear of the repercussions...I called her back in..

Here's the convo..word for word..oh don't forget to add in the crying child fearing for her LIFE

Me...Katherine, who mopped the kitchen>?

Her...Nobody.

Me...Nobody? WHAT?? IT GETS WHITE BY ITSELF...STEVEN YOU BETTER STAND BETWEEN US BEFORE I KNOCK THE HELL OUTTA HER...Katherine turn around.

Her..((screaming and crying)) no no no no no

Steven..she's not going to hurt you..turn around..

Me..just turn the hell around and look at the damn dining room now who do you think fucking cleaned that the other day?? SANTA FUCKING CLAUSE???

Lizzie...Santa was here???

Me...sighhhh

silence..

Me...Katherine..you know those clean clothes in your room, the ones that are hung up and folded, they are still folded right??? who did those??

Katherine..You.

Me..Katherine..who the hell do you think cooks around here..cause it sure the hell ain't your father.

Lizzie..Can we go to Taco Bell for dinner??

Me..NO

Me..Now do we need to discuss my "participation" in the cleaning of the house??

Katherine..no..

Me..good now go clean the fucking living room like I asked.

Lizzie..I think she should clean my room too...

Me..I think you should clean your own damn room. NOW. GO. BEFORE. I. GET. ANGRY.

Lizzie...You're already angry.

Connor..You're already angry.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahahhahahahhahahahhhahhahahahhahahaahhahahahahahahahhahahahahh....now if i can only stop laughing...for a minute anyway......hahahahhahahhhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahaha

Anonymous said...

Just for the record, I cook at least 1/3 of all meals consumed in this house. I admit, my wife does not like my cooking, but she will consume it (notice I didn't say eat, as that implies enjoyment). But, she often "REQUIRES" me to cook a meal, so she doesn't have to.

Now that I have only partially cleared that up (with what little humor I could use at my expense) I will let it go.

Dear Hubby aka: Hey you, delievery boy, and reason we don't have a maid.. said...

That was the DH for those who didn't know.