Friday, February 16, 2007

Confession...

I have a confession to make...I.AM.NOT.ONE.OF.THE.'COOL'.KIDS. I NEVER have been. I try so hard to be friends with people only to see other people--and here's another BIG confession for ya--people I don't feel are worthy make friends. Who am I to judge these other people though??? I guess my big problem is I try too hard. If you are my friend I will move heaven and earth for ya and expect nothing very little from you in return..Maybe just a call every once in a while--someone to laugh with and hang out with..I don't know something.

I'm beginning to think it's ME. S told me the other day I always HAD to have someone at every base I dislike and am fighting with, and then I'm like a RABID DOG..I want to make their life hell..I just can't let it go. I strive to see them fail--and when they don't (which they never do) I just keep watching..like it's a trainwreck.

I'm thinking of pulling myself out of all the little "social" groups I do here--OCSC (Officers Civilian's Spouses Club), Squadron Wive's Club, and well anything..because I just cannot deal with HER...Every time I see her I want to smack her face. This can't be healthy for me. I need to learn to FORGIVE and FORGET but it's so hard when every-flippin-time you turn around she's there. It doesn't help the ONE good friend (or I thought she was my friend) I have here has decided to be her friend and doing alot of things with her--and because me and her don't get along--I don't get invited or well they try to hide it from me.

Tell me I'm not just crazy...that you've had someone you've felt like this about before..even if it was me Toni ;)...

5 comments:

Toni said...

Okay hag! Made me giggle when I saw my name down there. Yes I feel that way about someone at just about EVERY base we go- right now it's Satan. I have everyone calling her Satan. I'm just plain evil like that.

Is there anyway you two can get over this? Oh gawd, couldn't even type that w/ a straight face! It does have to be hard that the 1 friend you are really close to is spending time with her- I will email you some of my 'deep' thoughts later on this- gotta go get Luke and his friend from the bus-

Toni said...

Gotta another one, real quick- "let bygones be bygones" hahahahaha- takes me YEARS to get over sh*t- gotta go

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I have never been one to have lots of contacts (much UNLIKE The PK...he's a MAJOR social butterfly). I have ALWAYS been that way...I have several long time friends but they've been around me FOREVER...I avoid most new social situations like the plague.

I don't blame you for wanting out...who needs that kind of stress, you know???

Toni said...

Hey! Hope you are feeling better- let me know what's up. By the way, you have been 'tagged'- so hop to it lady!

Becky L said...

i just happened by your blog. its late at night and i'm wired on caffeine, so i'm searching other Mom's blogs...

yeah, there's one person i know who just grates at my nerves. it really is hard to restrain myself. i hope things get better for you w/ that whole crazy situation.