Confession...

I have a confession to make...I.AM.NOT.ONE.OF.THE.'COOL'.KIDS. I NEVER have been. I try so hard to be friends with people only to see other people--and here's another BIG confession for ya--people I don't feel are worthy make friends. Who am I to judge these other people though??? I guess my big problem is I try too hard. If you are my friend I will move heaven and earth for ya and expect nothing very little from you in return..Maybe just a call every once in a while--someone to laugh with and hang out with..I don't know something.

I'm beginning to think it's ME. S told me the other day I always HAD to have someone at every base I dislike and am fighting with, and then I'm like a RABID DOG..I want to make their life hell..I just can't let it go. I strive to see them fail--and when they don't (which they never do) I just keep watching..like it's a trainwreck.

I'm thinking of pulling myself out of all the little "social" groups I do here--OCSC (Officers Civilian's Spouses Club), Squadron Wive's Club, and well anything..because I just cannot deal with HER...Every time I see her I want to smack her face. This can't be healthy for me. I need to learn to FORGIVE and FORGET but it's so hard when every-flippin-time you turn around she's there. It doesn't help the ONE good friend (or I thought she was my friend) I have here has decided to be her friend and doing alot of things with her--and because me and her don't get along--I don't get invited or well they try to hide it from me.

Tell me I'm not just crazy...that you've had someone you've felt like this about before..even if it was me Toni ;)...